In The Heart of Practice

Just 2 weeks into an intense backbending practice, and the constant and insistent 'more more more' from the Master, I pulled a muscle in my back during an attempt of touching my feet to my head in Kapotasana.  As I exited from the asana, I felt an excruciatingly sharp muscle spasm on my left lower back, and immediately uttered a self-curse under my breath.


The last thing I wanted to earn while in India, was an injury.  And knowing backbends weren't my strongest forte, I had early on vowed to be super careful.


As my Master treated me with a pressure point massage, I mulled over how this could have happened.  

1. Did I forget to engage my legs?
2. Did I not engage my bandha?  
3. Did I bend from my lumbar? 
4. Did I allow myself to get distracted? 
5. Did I allow my ego to rule instead of slowly getting into the heart of practice?

The ego, or self-love in Sanskrit is "ahamkara".  According to yogic philosophy, when one is in a state of ahamkara, he is in a state of of subjective illusion, and the ego is responsible for creating that illusive phenomenon, whereby the self is unready to embrace.  In ahamkara, which is in a state of rajasic, guna (agitation) predominates, thus opening a series of afflictions, like pride, competitiveness, jealousy, even hatred.


So, after taking a 2-day rest from backbending, (and 6x50mg of Voltaren tablets), I gingerly stepped back onto the mat for some baby backbending.

You wouldn't believe how painful it was to even attempt this asana

BKS Iyengar once said, 'those who are less flexible have more to gain from yoga'.  And the late Pattabhi Jois' famous line was 'Do your yoga... all is coming'.  We must acknowledge that there are many ways of learning yoga.  There is so much knowledge and wisdom out there, that have been refined over much scientific research, thousands of years of trial and error, and documented personal experiences and direct observations from Masters to practitioners. (Maybe this is also the reason why there are so many different systems and styles of yoga out there that nobody can agree on what works best... but this topic is best left for another day).


But when we embrace yoga as a practice, I do believe that we should embrace yoga's elements as well... equanimity, compassion, balance, life and ultimately enlightenment.


Our asana practice is but our doorway to a life of yoga.  And painful reminders (like an injury) are like life's handbrake to our practice.... a teacher that is ever so patient, nudging us when we deviate from the barely-scrapping-the-surface yoga practice of ours.


The best teacher is not merely a Master that we prostrate before.  The best teacher lies within us. 


To become more balanced in life on and off the yoga mat, I trust that we should be equally connected to failure as we are to success.
We should strive for progress, not perfection.
And assert cOMpassion whenever and wherever we can.


And as our practice evolves, and yoga takes on a richer flavour, then only can we be truly free.


Stay curious to the teacher within, and pain free always.
xx