I Am but a Student First

Last week, a practitioner in my Hatha for Beginner's class asked me, "What made you quit your well-paying (read : 70-hour week and living out of a suitcase) job and become a yoga teacher?"

As class was about to start, I smiled and merely replied, "I decided to take my passion in yoga one step further....and let the beauty of what I love become what I do".

Friends who frequent another (public) yoga studio are sometimes surprised to find me practising with them in the early morning 'Technique & Alignment' class.  I often get, "But you're a teacher....what are you doing in a Hatha class with us?"

Ah, but I am first and foremost a student of yoga, and a teacher, second.  I truly believe that every teacher has something to share, and every teacher should have a grounded and strong self-practice in order to grow deeper into one's yoga journey.

I go back to officially being a student next weekend.  I'm excited and I can't wait!  And with the knowledge that I will gain, I hope to continue to serve and inspire my practitioners better. 

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow.  Learn as if you were to live forever" - Mahatma Gandhi.

Bending Over Backwards

Aaaah....backbends.  Love it or hate it, it is an essential part of yoga practice.  In India, a teacher once told me vehemently, " if you cannot do backbends, you cannot do yoga!" 

It seems strange, that as kids, we were once the bendiest of all beings - playing with Barbie for hours whilst sitting in Virasana, kicking up playfully into a handstand only to fall back lightly into Urdhva Dhanurasana - nay was there a complaint about sore knees, ouchy lower back or sprained rotator cuffs.  So what happened along the way?  Were we so carried away with lifestyle changes, lack of exercise, a 70-hour-a-week desk job, bad diet, poor posture and killer stillettos, that all that inborn flexibility just disappeared?

When I started practising yoga, I totally sucked at backbends.  I could never understand why backbends were so punishingly straineous to the lumbar region.  Needless to say, I hated backbends then.  And staying comfortably in Ustrasana for 2 minutes today, would seem like an impossible task back then. 

This morning's backbend class was both exhilarating yet exhaustingly daunting at the same time.  With the help of the chair, we moved into Urdhva Dhanurasana, Viparita Dandasana and Kapotasana.  My quads and mid-back are now classified under "Very Sore", and there are still some twitches of strain in my lower back.

With the help of a (patient) teacher, I am slowly learning the right techniques to deepen my backbends. The steel foldable chair has become my best friend to maintain proper alignment during practice. 

And as the late Shri Pattabhi Jois once said, "Body not stiff....only mind stiff.  Practice...all is coming!"

So, if you're thinking of getting a steel foldable chair for your backbends, make sure you get a solid one that doesn't slide or collapse when you arch back.  None of those plasticky ones, please.

Enjoy!

(image of chairs from http://www.yogachairprop.com/)

Life

I received news of someone's passing today.  And although I do not know this person, he must have been someone who has touched a dear friend's life in more ways than one.  I was told he was 52 years old, a father of 3 girls, and suffered a heart attack.  I silently questioned, "is there an acceptable age for heart attacks"?  And does saying, "my deepest condolences, so sorry to hear about your loss" ever enough?

At some point in our lives, we would have lost a loved one.... endured the pain, grief and tears of losing a parent, sibling, spouse, close friend, or even a beloved pet.  Personally speaking, time does not heal all wounds - the wounds never really disappear.... they merely become coated with time, and turn into memories of a life that once lived. 

And during our greatest moments of grief, we become contemplative.... questioning ourselves about life's purpose, our purpose on earth, our priorities.... wondering if there ever are answers to these questions?

I once wrote in reply to someone with these same burning questions.... someone who has been grieving over the passing of his father :
"We're put on earth, as heaven is at the moment, over-crowded.... so meanwhile, we do as much good as we can, life our best life, love with an open heart, mourn to remember a life well-lived and to celebrate a life worth living, before we head on back to heaven".

Peace to those who have gone before us.
Love for those who stand before and beside us.

Know your ABC's

I was methodically laying out  the mats before my pre-natal yoga class one evening, when the Studio Manager walked into the room.  She noticed that I was carefully lining up the mats, to ensure there was approximate equal space between each mat, and promptly asked, "Do you have STD?"

I paused..... and looked up at her, mouth agape.  Before I could utter a sound, she looked quizzically at me and continued, "You know.... like that disorder that Adrian Monk has.... that detective on TV?"

I burst out laughing so hard that my sides almost split.  I responded, in between laughter, "You mean OCD, don't you?  Adrian Monk has OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?"

Shock and embarrassment registered in her face, before she too burst out laughing.

Monk is airing it's final season over cable.  I will miss Tony Shalhoub as the bumbling, fumbling, obsessively fastidious detective.

(Image of Monk from NBC Universal Inc)

Light as a Feather

I've been practising getting up (and trying to stay up) in Pincha Mayurasana (feathered peacock pose) for the past 3 weeks now.  I'm pretty sure everyone's got their favourite asana - mine happens to be the Pincha, mainly because I love inversions but I can't seem to balance for more than 5 breaths in this asana without falling down!  The more impossibly challenging this posture is, the more intrigued I am to  'get it right'. 

All that 'hugging the forearms to the midline, internally rotating the thighs, tailbone down, shoulderblades broad'.... practising the Pincha is very tiring work indeed.  On a good day, I feel lightness and am able to get into the pose effortlessly (albeit it with the wall for moral support).  On other days, it's just downright frustrating when the arms just don't seem to be in the right alignment, or the ribs pop forward, the legs feel heavy, and the posture just doesn't feel 'rightly connected'.

Yoga teaches us about unity.  About being connected with the body, mind and breath, as we face the myriad of challenges that will occur in the uncovering of our light....a process which will take (possibly) lifetimes.  About patience, acceptance and compassion.  About embracing ourselves and reclaiming peace, strength and the power to heal and love.

And as I finish typing this last sentence, I line up my strap and block, preparing myself for another practice of Pincha Mayurasana.  Will I get it right this time?  Will I be able to balance longer in the asana? 

I don't know.  Should I have any expectations?

The late Shri Pattabhi Jois once said, "Practice. And all is coming".
Well, I've got a lifetime :)


(Image of Kathryn Budig in Pincha Mayurasana from Yoga Journal)

Pulp Fashion

Yoga practitioners these days can be pretty fashion forward.  Some of the more popular brands of yoga attire worn in the studios here these days are Nike, Adidas, Adidas by Stella McCartney, Zobha, and Lululemon Athletica to name a few. 

Some practitioners invest in these brands ('invest' is an apt word, seeing how expensive they can get!) purely because you really get a bang for your buck as they last for years in spite of daily wear and wash. 

Alas, some practitioners make each yoga class a 'fashion show' to show off the latest tank top with matching crop pants, water bottle, mat and bag.

Having said that, there are some practitioners who don't seem to give a hoot on what they wear to class, and turn up in shorts and a baggy t-shirt where 'all is revealed' in Downward Facing Dog!

The more I practise yoga, the more conscious I get about what I put on - comfort, fit & dry, value for money, and ease of movement when I twist and look at the world upside down without worrying that I'm flashing my 'girls' for the world to see...you get my drift.

So....
Do you feel like you get an extra 'ooomph' in your jump-backs when you're in designer threads? 
Or are you the t-shirt & shorts kind?

Do you wear the clothes, or do the clothes wear you?

108 Surya Namaskar

Yesterday was the last day of the Lunar New Year, and there was also a Full Moon.

My yoga buddy and I made a commitment to practise 108 rounds of Surya Namaskar at sunrise.  It started out slow... our hamstrings protested at each forward bend... our minds challenged our commitment.  It was an incredibly humid morning, and after the 8th round, we were sweating profusely.

Soon, without us realizing it, we were embodied in this humble yet energizing sequence.  Body, mind and breath were coordinated, each movement flowed with the breath.  As we brought our hands into Namaste, we acknowledged our hearts as the center point between heaven and earth, and as we bowed forward into Uttanasana, we rooted our hands and feet, honouring Mother Earth.

As I laid in Savasana, surrendering into the final asana for the morning, I said a silent 'thank you' for the simple morning commitment.  Walking out of the shala with the 'sun in my heart', I was eagerly looking forward to the next Moon Day. 
108 Surya Namaskar, here I come!

Bad Cat Day

What a disconcerting class I had this morning.

I was teaching a 90-minute vinyasa private class, when my student's neighbour's kittens came into the house (as the glass doors were open for ventilation).  Being the playful kitties they were, they started to weave in between us during Adho Mukha Svanasana, mimicking us in Bhujangasana (see pic of my student), and challenging us in a Cat Stretch.

It was cute at first, then it got downright annoying, especially when:

- one of them was mewing consistently (my student had a habit of feeding them, so this one was probably hungry)

- we couldn't shoo them out of the house and shut the glass doors (as it was humid, it would mean, we'd be cooking in our own sweat!)

- my student stroked and whispered to them during Paschimottanasana

- they got really disruptive during my demonstration of Sirsasana

I found myself getting more and more irritated by the kittens' presence, and tried to bring the class back to order; reminding myself and my practitioners to close the eyes while in Janu Sirsasana, and bring the awareness back to the breath, and the present moment (sans kittens!).

Later as I drove home, I found myself sneezing incessantly!  OMG, the kittens triggered my allergies.  Great way to start the week....not!!

As I got home, I rolled out my mat and laid down in Savasana, and meditated while lying down. I kept repeating my affirmation, "I am home...and this is where I am centered and at peace".  After a few deep breaths, I felt 'lighter', without the baggage of 'useless emotions', and ready to face the rest of Monday. 

A friend whom I shared this with told me, "Breathe. This is just one of 'those' frustrating days. But it's cool, because sometimes we all need days like these, to show us what calming means".

Sometimes, you need a wise friend to voice what you already know deep in your heart.
Om Shanti.